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DuckSauce505

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welcome back [Nov. 9th, 2012|03:40 pm]
DuckSauce505
Hello and welcome back I have been doing way much better and things are great for me now. I have two awesome jobs and love then both. I can say my life is in such a better place now. I hope that this continues.
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What it be [Jan. 25th, 2008|10:26 pm]
DuckSauce505
[Current Location |at home]
[mood |gloomygloomy]
[music |None]

So life has been good to me. I have been doing well at my job. I am have been taking responsibility for on the floor training. It's hard though sometimes cause when I am trying to help someone I get attacked by another person asking for help. I sometimes have a hard job to do. But then again I am glad that I am allowed to have the responsibility put on my self.

On a side note I got an Xbox 360 and a few good games for it. I love it to death. I have taken a break from World of Warcraft cause I hardly ever play it any more. I have been playing the crap out of my Wii and enjoying many games for it, especially the virtual consoles.

Oh and life has been good to me, I really can't complain, I have become a homeowner for my condo and I am happy about that happening. I really don't know what is going on with hansel cause I witness him vomiting up tonight and I hope he is ok. I am going to fast him and authmn for the rest of the night. I may decide to buy some other food to help them out.

I have been talking to many people and been getting advice for what I should do about my love life. I see valentines stuff up and it just makes me sick to my stomach that it's been two years since I have actually been in a relationship. I am not sure who does like me and I wish I could find someone that does like me for whom I am.

I just wish I was happier on the inside and not so alone in the world. However, there are many poeple who do care about me and I am happy that they do so. I just don't know why....lol.....

Well that's all I have to say.
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(no subject) [Jul. 29th, 2007|12:46 am]
DuckSauce505
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

I am so irritated by many things right now. I am not happy with my life cause how things go in it. Why do females just want to be friends. Nothing more. They tell me they miss me and I miss them back but, hello we are not together. Why do they have to always say that to me. We are just friends and not together. I hate this and the way I feel. The girls I do like just turn out to not want to date me. Or just are to fucking scared to date me. Too much is what I am. LOL. I hate that so much. Fuck I am not in a good mood. Well I don't know what else to say.


Have a good day. Bye.
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Hot import night [Jun. 2nd, 2007|08:03 pm]
DuckSauce505
http://www.hotimportnights.com/events/event.asp?id=572



Just wanted to know if anyone wants to go with me to HIN?
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(no subject) [Apr. 24th, 2007|11:53 pm]
DuckSauce505
[mood |boredbored]

Why is it that I hurt so much on the inside? I have so much pain and hurt that all I can say is I hate her. I will always hate the way you treated me and will never ever give her a chance to make it up. I hate her so much that I want to die. This feeling that burns inside of me. Sometimes I feel like I cant sleep cause I hurt so much from her. You fucking bitch go to away and stay away. I hate her music and her way of thinking. I hate every thing about her and what she did to me. All I wanted was a fucking second chance and never got it. To be let in a a mudd puddle. There on my own with anything to look for in life. You have given me nothing in return only pain and suffering for the rest of my forsaken life. I hate her so much that I would die for another chance. There are times where I think about dieing but its not worth it. Not for her. Go away I am sick and tired of hearing your voice, your annoying sneez. I have tried so hard to move on and all I feel is pain from you and your fucking drool. Yes I am not happy. So be it. I can't be happy in a relationship, then I won't be happy. If I think about it took much I feel like crying. I think about it to a certain point and yes it was a waste of time. I hate you and your mentality so much you stupid bitch. I have no remorse no forgiveness for you and your stuck up life. Spoiled is what I call it. I know I am blowing steem but I feel better when I know I can speak my mind about other poeple and the way. If I could give one thing in my life to make myself happy I would, but it wont happen. What is it to live a life of happiness? What is it to live a life of fullfillment?

In the past I have looked for so many different ways to escape this place we call reality, or the real world. I have done so many thing in my life that most people would never dare due. I have come to grips with my life and need to move on make some drastic changes. I have given up and been given up on by ones that I have loved, cheated, and lied too. I want to make things in my life real. I want to understand why I am here and why I live my life. Everytime I want to make myself happy I do in hurting others and myself. I am unsure what I can do to make my life the way others have their lives. Loving caring knowing what they want in life and making those steps to do so. Oh well I am sure that some day I will know what to look for in my life. I can only hope it won't lead me down the same path as before. Hurt pain and suffering. =)

Good night and good bye.
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making new ground [Feb. 8th, 2007|01:36 pm]
DuckSauce505
Hey there all. I know it has been an Fing long time since I post on this here page. Well I guess I can say all is well. I hope to make things better. There is alot still rolling around in my brain. But it could be worse. I may have more to say but peace.
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That was then; this is now! [Oct. 21st, 2006|12:44 am]
DuckSauce505
[mood |boredbored]

There are so many crazy things going on right now. It's hard to understand where my life is going. Alot of things are happening in my life and well I am scared of letting go of my feeling. Maybe it's time to see the door, open it, and walk on through.
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wishing you were here [Oct. 10th, 2006|05:01 am]
DuckSauce505
[mood |frustratedfrustrated]

Well it is 5am in the morning and I can't sleep, I wish there was a way I could tell her how I feel. But at the same time I feel like there is nothing I can do. Being single is probably the most worst feeling for me right now. Not knowing what to look for in a relationship only makes it ten times more aweful. I still have so many feelings and thoughts that I am utterly confused what to do, or even what I can say. The females I do talk to are not even willing to give me the time of day. However at the same time I want a girl to fill the void in my life. I have an empty hole in-side of me. Why can't I just wish away the feelings I have for her. Nothing else should be there, but for some odd reason I still miss her, I can't stand to be around her and yet I can't stand to not be near her. I hate what I am saying however I still feel as though I love her. How stupid can I be to feel this way. Why can't I let go of everything that reminds me of her.

I listened to the cd that she made me over five months ago and it almost made me cry, well I think it did make me cry. This odd pain in my chest won't go away. I don't expect her to talk to me cause, it only irritates her too. Being single and not getting married is the worst thing I can think of happening to me, let alone another person. How can this be? That is something I can't understand. I have been laying in bed for two hours and I still can't get any sleep. I feel like I am haunted by the memories of my past. I hate this so much, I just want to know that my life will be so much better, but I feel like everything is the same and there is nothing I can do.

Oh my what a useless life I live, I am so unhappy but happy at the same time. I can make myself happy but its in the time of when I need to sleep that I can't cause I am lost in memories sweet memories. haha I laugh at my self for how stupid I am being right now. I wish my life could go on and I could wish away all my feelings and thoughts and emotions. However I am human and this is how I think. I feel like I am at the lowest I could have ever been today. I fear that my life has gone down the toilet and there is nothing I can do. blahblah blah..... ............
This is where I end it!
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crushes [Aug. 28th, 2006|08:46 pm]
DuckSauce505
[mood |depresseddepressed]

someone having a crush on you and you cant show them the same feelings back is hard to deal with sometimes, I feel like I am losing all sight of everything i once knew and felt.
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whatever!!!! [Aug. 23rd, 2006|10:52 pm]
DuckSauce505
Most relationships last on knowing that someone will always be there for you, I just wish girls would tell me what they are thinking rather than having me guess at what they are trying to tell me. If you honestly love someone then you would not give up on them. It's not untill you are made out to be a liar but when in fact that you were played by her. I am a man that for sho! At least I can live on my own and be myself. it's not untill you show your true colors does it make things clear. No more talk no more play fuck it. cause its done.
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