||[Apr. 24th, 2007|11:53 pm]
Why is it that I hurt so much on the inside? I have so much pain and hurt that all I can say is I hate her. I will always hate the way you treated me and will never ever give her a chance to make it up. I hate her so much that I want to die. This feeling that burns inside of me. Sometimes I feel like I cant sleep cause I hurt so much from her. You fucking bitch go to away and stay away. I hate her music and her way of thinking. I hate every thing about her and what she did to me. All I wanted was a fucking second chance and never got it. To be let in a a mudd puddle. There on my own with anything to look for in life. You have given me nothing in return only pain and suffering for the rest of my forsaken life. I hate her so much that I would die for another chance. There are times where I think about dieing but its not worth it. Not for her. Go away I am sick and tired of hearing your voice, your annoying sneez. I have tried so hard to move on and all I feel is pain from you and your fucking drool. Yes I am not happy. So be it. I can't be happy in a relationship, then I won't be happy. If I think about it took much I feel like crying. I think about it to a certain point and yes it was a waste of time. I hate you and your mentality so much you stupid bitch. I have no remorse no forgiveness for you and your stuck up life. Spoiled is what I call it. I know I am blowing steem but I feel better when I know I can speak my mind about other poeple and the way. If I could give one thing in my life to make myself happy I would, but it wont happen. What is it to live a life of happiness? What is it to live a life of fullfillment?
In the past I have looked for so many different ways to escape this place we call reality, or the real world. I have done so many thing in my life that most people would never dare due. I have come to grips with my life and need to move on make some drastic changes. I have given up and been given up on by ones that I have loved, cheated, and lied too. I want to make things in my life real. I want to understand why I am here and why I live my life. Everytime I want to make myself happy I do in hurting others and myself. I am unsure what I can do to make my life the way others have their lives. Loving caring knowing what they want in life and making those steps to do so. Oh well I am sure that some day I will know what to look for in my life. I can only hope it won't lead me down the same path as before. Hurt pain and suffering. =)
Good night and good bye.