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DuckSauce505

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the world is my oyster! [Aug. 18th, 2006|08:06 pm]
DuckSauce505
wow what a wonderful world I live in! I am all giddy about this new girl that I just met today. ah I want this to go right! I am so excited about seeing her again. I just want to talk to her and get to know her, oh boy oh boy I am so excited yay!!!!! Other than that I am doing much better.
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Thunder is the best part of the storm!...................................BOOM! [Aug. 13th, 2006|09:44 pm]
DuckSauce505
[mood |calmcalm]

Girls are so odd, its interesting to see how hot of a stud I am not one of them will bother to talk to me. They look at me like I am some weirdo. Ok so maybe I am a weirdo. But that does not mean I should be treated like dirt. Well at least I know. I don't know what to say to people who cant trust me, I mean I pretty much trust someone who talks back to me. I am not a mean person, but rather freindly person, I dont speak much cause I am shy, I get really nervious about people who think I am an ass so to speak. I dont think I can understand my past relationship. Girls are very strange I wont ever understand them. They do really weird things to get attention. Gees I need some ass 6 months and still I cant get laid. OH I am so excited about the 27th going autoracing up in Santa Fe with my buddy Barry! yay! Should be one hell of a time. I think being single is the best thing in the world. Oh my what a week it was probably the best week of my life. Well I am done for tonight
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Just a thought [Aug. 6th, 2006|12:18 am]
DuckSauce505
[mood |calmcalm]

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

[Chorus]

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

[Chorus x2]

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
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happy days [Aug. 4th, 2006|01:59 am]
DuckSauce505
well apparently my internet is working again for some odd reason LOL! that just made my day
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could this day suck any more! [Aug. 3rd, 2006|10:00 pm]
DuckSauce505
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

Well could life be any worse, my damn cable was suspended cause I have a past due payment. lucky for me my parents have internet. Oh to make matters worse I might lose my job, I hate my life could it suck any more! life is so irritating sometimes I just want to punch myself in the face for hose stupid I am. What a way to end my day I get written up twice for my attendance at work and my aux time. Not only that but to make it more shitty my internet was suspended, and I was not even given a call about it. Oh well shows how much I know about money management. But all in all I get paid tomorrow and will make the effort to pay off some bills. I wish I could just live my life care free with out having to deal with alot of crap. I envy those who live with their parents but dont at the same time living on your own is by far the hardest thing in the world. Oh well I guess thats how my life will be LOL what a poor sorry bastard I am. I hate this life I have I thought it would be so much easier but I guess not. I am being kicked in the pants for being lazy at work and being lazy with my bills. oh well it cant get any worse or at least I hope not. good night!!!
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(no subject) [Aug. 3rd, 2006|01:19 am]
DuckSauce505
[mood |contentcontent]
[music |Dead Air]

Could I ever be happy?! What does it mean to be happy? What does it take to make ones self happy? I have been thinking about this alot lately, and yet I am courious what it takes to make me happy. I mean I have a good place to live. I have a decent job. I have two wonderful cats. I have two decent reliable cars. Three working computers. I have money to buy things with. Honestly in a lot of ways I am happy. But does that mean I am happy with who I am? I ask myself this question over and over again. Trying to understand what it means to be happy.

Well I want to say I am happy, but then again I am not. My life is not always what I expect it to be. I want to be happy, but I want to be alive knowing that some of the goals I seek in my life ie..a steady relationship. If there is one thing in the world that I could want more than anything is to be in a happy non denial relationship. Where the feelings for my significant other are the same. No games. No hiding feelings. However I am at a lost of words to know what to look for in a relationship. I feel lost sometimes, like I am in a never ending story, where I go on not knowing what will happen around the next corner. The feelings I had for certain individuals is not there anymore. I don't feel attached to these feelings. My first love was also my first heart broken. I know that much and I know that as time goes on things will become better for me. I am sick of these feelings of being lonely, not knowing what to do with myself. I know that I am going to get mocked for this but I don't care anymore.

All I want is to be happy! That is what I want out of my simple useless life. I know I am not the smartest person in the world, but I know that when the time is right I will find the right person to make me happy.

Ever day is a step away, Every day is more confusing in every way, To be lost is all I feel, To be in pain is all I feel, I wish I knew what to do to make the pain go away. Why do I feel this way. I am alone and dead. Nothing more can be said.

I sit here thinking and all I feel is a sharp pain in my chest, it hurts so much I just want to wish it all away. I feel like crying cause it hurts so much, will the sharp pain ever go away. I don't know what these feelings I hold inside. All I feel is the emptyness inside.

Well I am done whining about my pointless life and that's pretty much how I feel ever night before I go to sleep.
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feeling good [Aug. 2nd, 2006|10:32 am]
DuckSauce505
[mood |calmcalm]
[music |TV playing in background]

SO alot of things seem to be falling in place for me now, I seem to be feeling alot better. I am so happy the week has been going by so quick. I am looking forward to getting paid so I can pay some bills off. I honestly need to save up more money, and I need to stop buying everthing in site. haha! My fag cat hansel is being lame. But other than that I am pretty well! I really want a game cube but I am going to wait for the nintendo wii. backwards compability is the best thing in the world.....
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(no subject) [Jul. 29th, 2006|10:08 am]
DuckSauce505
so i am selling my Motorola L7 SLVR on ebay right now I only have 19h left

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=002&item=120013236748&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1
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hAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME [Jul. 24th, 2006|06:23 am]
DuckSauce505
HEY I JUST WANTED TO WISH MYSELF A HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
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colorblind [Jul. 22nd, 2006|10:26 pm]
DuckSauce505
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am
Taffy stuck, tongue tied
Stuttered shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding
I am
colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am.... fine
I am fine
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